Prophets1: The Original, the Best, and the Most Likely to be Right

Welcome, mortal! You have stumbled upon the most esteemed Prophets1, a collection of seers who know what's best for you.

Click here to learn more about Prophets2, our slightly less esteemed cousins.

Today's Prophesied Message

We foresee a 99.9% chance of scattered showers and a 100% chance of your aunt's gossip.

Or, click here to visit Prophets3, our most questionable relatives.

Prophetic Tip of the Day

Don't forget to wear sunscreen. Or, you know, don't. We're not really sure.

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, click here to visit Prophets4, our slightly-less-than-fully-certified cousins.